Waiting Well: Carrying on with life while you wait for help

The press notice released today paints a stark picture: “Roughly one in 10 children have an active referral to mental health services in England… children whose lives have been put on hold for months and, in some cases, years waiting for support they urgently need.” More than a million children are now sitting in the mental health system, and over 60,000 are waiting more than two years for help. This leaves families in the impossible position of trying to support their child while navigating uncertainty, delay, and the emotional weight of feeling stuck.

While the system works through its backlog, children and families don’t have to put their lives on hold. Waiting well is not about pretending everything is fine or minimising distress; it’s about recognising that there are things you can do now that support wellbeing, build resilience, and help your child feel more in control while they wait.

Long waits often create a sense of suspended animation. Parents tell me they feel they can’t move forward until they “know what’s going on,” and young people describe feeling stuck between worry and hope. A diagnosis or specialist input is only one part of a child’s story. Their friendships, interests, strengths, routines, and small daily joys continue to matter just as much.

Encouraging children to keep doing the things that make them feel like themselves: football, drawing, gaming, animals, music, or time outdoors. These activities are anchors that will help young people to keep a sense of their identity.

Many of the things that support mental health are simple, accessible, and can be started today. They don’t replace specialist care, but they will strengthen a child’s ability to cope while they wait.

• Sleep routines: predictable wind-downs, screens off earlier, and gentle consistency.
• Movement: not “exercise” in the pressured sense, but walking the dog, dancing in the kitchen, kicking a ball, stretching.
• Breathing and grounding: not as a fob-off, but as a genuine way to calm the nervous system. Slow breathing changes physiology.
• Nature: even small doses, a garden, a park, even a pet. They all help regulate stress.
• Connection: one trusted adult who listens without rushing to fix can make a big difference.

These are the kinds of things children can do while waiting, and they are powerful.

Tools like a wellbeing journal, sleep diary, or event diary can help children understand their own patterns and give them a sense of agency. They also become incredibly useful once appointments do come through, offering clinicians a clearer picture of what has been happening over time.

The key is to keep these light-touch and child-led. They’re not homework. They are a way of noticing.

Even while specialist services are delayed, support doesn’t have to stop. Schools, community groups, youth workers, and trusted adults can all play a role in helping children feel seen and supported. A child waiting for CAMHS is still entitled to reasonable adjustments, pastoral support, and understanding.

The press notice highlights that referrals for suspected autism and neurodevelopmental conditions have risen sharply, and these children face some of the longest waits. Families in this position often feel exhausted. Hope isn’t about pretending the system is working perfectly; it’s about recognising that your child is still growing, still learning, still developing strengths, and still capable of joy and progress even while waiting.

Waiting well is a shared effort between families, schools, communities, and the small everyday practices that help children feel safe and supported. The system may be slow, but life doesn’t have to be.

If your child is waiting, they deserve support now. There are meaningful, compassionate things you can do today that help them feel steadier, stronger and more connected.