Raising my Neurodivergent Children: Lessons from a Child Neuropsychologist

As both a nutritional neuroscientist and a mother of two children with ADHD, I have learned that supporting a neurodivergent child’s mental health requires both science and lived experience.

My two children both have ADHD, yet they presented very differently, highlighting the important differences between boys and girls. 

My son’s challenges were more externally visible: hyperactivity, restlessness, emotional dysregulation. My daughter, by contrast, had a predominantly inattentive presentation, a dreamy, “head in the clouds” profile that went largely unnoticed until puberty.

Early in my parenting journey, I did not immediately connect food and behaviour. At the time I was working in property and had not yet retrained. It was only when my son attended “The New Learning Centre” in West Hampstead, run by Nancy Janis-Norton, and we enrolled in the Calmer, Easier, Happier Parenting programme, that the link between nutrition and behaviour became clearer.

Through guided support, we implemented an elimination-style dietary approach, removing sugar, wheat, gluten and highly processed foods. The behavioural changes were noticeable, reduced hyperactivity, improved emotional regulation, and better concentration.

That experience reshaped my career. I went on to dedicate 14 years to researching the relationship between food, mood, brain activity and function, using dietary interventions and neuroimaging techniques.

Now, when parents ask what to do when their child is acting out, my first question is simple: What is their diet like?

My ethos is always: foods first, supplements second. If behaviour does not improve after at least 12 weeks of consistent dietary changes, then a specialist clinical psychologist should be consulted.

Parenting a neurodivergent child requires clarity, consistency, and a set of non-negotiables:

• Stabilise blood sugar

• Prioritise whole, nutrient-dense foods

• Reduce ultra-processed foods

• Protect sleep

• Support emotional regulation

Science informs the strategy. Parenting delivers the practice.

One of the simplest observations any parent can make is how quickly behaviour can shift when a child is hungry. Irritability, tearfulness and emotional outbursts can escalate rapidly. The term “hangry” – a combination of hunger and anger – reflects a real biological process. When blood sugar fluctuates, mood and behaviour often fluctuate with it. Stabilising blood glucose is therefore not simply a nutritional goal, but a behavioural one.

In my daughter’s case, adolescence brought another layer of complexity. As hormones changed, her inattentive symptoms became more pronounced and emotional sensitivity increased. For a period, she developed a strong pull towards sugar-rich foods. From a neuroscientific perspective, this made sense. Sugar stimulates dopamine release within the brain’s reward circuitry. For individuals with ADHD, where dopamine regulation differs, this can reinforce patterns of craving and repeated consumption. Over time, this can become a cycle increasing risk for problematic eating behaviour later in life.

My daughter was also an extremely selective eater and would become distressed if different foods touched on her plate. Food sensitivities and selective eating are common in neurodivergent children and can make mealtimes challenging. They can also increase the risk of nutritional insufficiencies which, over time, may further affect concentration, mood and behaviour. When blood sugar is stabilised, mood and behaviour are often more stable too.

Another important lesson has been the historical bias within ADHD research. For decades, studies predominantly recruited boys. Much of what we learned about ADHD was therefore interpreted through a male-centric lens. Girls, particularly those with inattentive presentations, were frequently overlooked. We are only now beginning to better understand how neurodivergence presents differently across sexes, and how hormones interact with attention and emotional regulation.

Raising neurodivergent children has taught me that differences exist on a spectrum, and diagnostic labels often overlap. In my son’s case, there were features of ADHD, dyslexia and Autism Spectrum traits. In my daughter’s case, inattentiveness was masked by quiet compliance for many years. Each child required a slightly different approach.

Supporting brain health in neurodivergent children is therefore not about one single intervention. It is about creating stability: nutritionally, emotionally and environmentally. It is about noticing patterns. It is about asking better questions. And it is about combining evidence-based science with consistent, practical parenting. When we align the biology with the environment, meaningful change can happen.